journal – morning musings

Sometimes I question our decision to homeschool. It’s a lot of work and responsibility.  I wonder if I’m missing something, if they’re “okay,” socially and academically. There’s always something to do, and most days I have to choose between cleaning and educating… because for right now, it’s really tough to do it all. We have a new baby and a house that is way too big, so naturally, it’s going to be messy. Life gets stressful around here, but learning is more important than clean (I have to tell myself this 100x a day – it’s my personal little chant:)). As much as I love my kiddos, most days I think about how easy it would be to “just send them to school.”

But it’s not that easy. Especially on mornings like this. The sun crept in, waking us and revealing a fog-covered field with endless webs, artfully created by dancing spiders. We quickly got dressed and rushed outside to explore. As I watched my children roaming around our backyard, gently and respectfully observing each web in awe, I realized that if they were in public school, we would have missed this opportunity to share something beautiful and magical…  with nature, and with each other.

(This is their favorite spot to play… this field and “the old wagon.” They spend hours imagining and playing here each day!)

Every time we go somewhere, it turns into a “field trip” because they’re always interested in something, full of questions and ideas… or they need to know something. Then I remember, I’m not just schooling my kids, I’m preparing them for life… as we live our lives. I’m investing in their interests, but more importantly, in their hearts. Side-by-side, we are learning together. I get to have them with me every day, watching their interests grow and evolve. I get to witness their discoveries and aha-moments. And when all of the doubting thoughts start to creep in, God places another homeschool-momma along my path to remind me that I’m not alone, to encourage me to keep going and just embrace the science and art projects that take over every surface of our house!

My kids may not have the same, exact education and knowledge as other children their age, but isn’t that true of us all? We all have different experiences and interests, and therefore, varied levels of knowledge. And that makes us unique. Just like a spiders web – each one is different, but beautiful and important. Like a web, their education is built upon a simple and solid foundation that moves in all directions, creating intentional threads that catch what is most important to feed their developing souls.  When I start to desire a clean and quiet house, free time, or more time to invest in my business, I look into their eyes as they smile and say, “I love you mommy,” and I am reminded that this time fades too quickly.

For now, I get to be with my favorite people all day, everyday, and I love having them close to me (even in my most frustrating moments). One day they will leave me for their own adventures… so I will use this time to train and prepare them for their own journey & desires… making memories to enjoy later. There’s never enough time and I’ll always wish for more. Until then, I’ll take what I have and embrace this journey with a full and open heart.

(One of our favorite friends stopped by on her way to work. She actually grew up in our house!! She gracefully teaches our children about gardening, nature, and love for our whole world! How beautiful is she!)


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